Psychological Resilience From Trauma

Three kids live in the same family. They have the same mom and dad and attend the same school. They are siblings and all were born with good bodies and good minds. They do well in school and in sports. They were all home the day of the fire. The fire was electrical. It rapidly spread throughout the house and it destroyed everything. Thankfully, all family members escaped with no injury.

The three kids moved with their parents to a hotel and called that home for almost a year. Finally, the house was rebuilt and they all moved back in. That's when I heard from them. Two of the children were just fine and quickly settled back into their regular routines. But Ben was having trouble. He was afraid to sleep alone in his room. He lost his appetite once they left the hotel, and hadnt yet regained it. Ben was suffering. He had anxiety all day long at school. He pleaded with his parents to sell the house and buy a new one.

Why is it that one family member cannot adjust to a trauma and everyone else in the family quickly gets over it? Scientists are looking for a resilience gene. Researchers know that some people remain psychologically healthy no matter the traumas that befall them. Other people, with similar backgrounds and situations, may have great difficulty coping. Resilience is the ability to endure stress and bounce right back.

Ben was short on resilience. He was unable to bounce back by himself and required several sessions of talk therapy where he was taught self-calming techniques. Fortunately his parents quickly took him for help. Sometimes I see kids, and adults, too, who tried to soothe themselves after a trauma by smoking, eating, drinking, or drugging. Those substances sometimes work at calming but their side effects are horrendous. Self-soothing with food, alcohol, cigarettes or illegal drugs usually causes more harm than did the original situation.

There are some techniques that are quite effective at neutralizing memories so that a trauma need not have a lasting imprint. The technique I like best is a form of acupressure which involves tapping on particular parts of your body. I'll tell you more about it next time. If this technique, and others similar to it, were taught in school perhaps substance abuse and emotional eating would be less. Why are self-soothing techniques not more known? Maybe its because scientists have not yet figured out precisely how they work. But, since we do know that they work shouldnt they be used? What do you think? For more information about my tapping cure, click here.